Bullying When Dating
It may seem exciting at first. Meeting someone with that attractor factor can be quite wonderful. It may take a while however, before realizing that something isn't quite right. Or - it may happen suddenly before you know what is happening.
Not all dates are chocolates and roses. What if your date starts pressuring you for sex before you have finished your first course? What if you leave the restaurant and he starts following you home? What if he or she hacks into your Facebook account? What if he/she is waiting in the car park at your place of work without arranging a meeting? What if he/she calls in the middle of the night to check whether you are home?
Bullying behaviour when dating is likely to get worse rather than better over time. If you hang around and continue dating someone who is abusive in any way, there is really only one person who can change that. It will only stop if you leave and are unavailable to be hurt anymore. If you are misguided into believing that marriage will solve the problem, then you are simply exchanging bullying on a date for domestic violence.
Please consider leaving while you can and if necessary take out an Apprehended Violence Order if your former dating partner continues to harass you.
Signs of bullying behaviour on a date
- Feeling put down by criticism of your appearance or name calling
- If you feel pressured for sex when you are not ready
- There is physical violence such as hitting, pushing, pulling
- When he/she tries to coerce you into taking drugs, getting drunk against your will
- Sulking or tantrums when you disagree
- Sending threatening text messages if you refuse to comply with his/her wishes
- Spreading malicious rumours about you
- Posting private or compromising photos of you on social media without your permission
- Prank calls to your mobile phone
- Touching you inappropriately when you have asked it to stop
- Confining you against your wishes
- Repeated accusations of your infidelity
- Following you and checking up on where you have been and who you have seen
All this is weird behaviour and may amount to bullying, sexual harassment or stalking.
Resources for when you are dating
- Stalking is illegal in every state and territory of Australia. Please see more on stalking at Caring4Couples.
- A worthwhile resource for women online is A Woman's Heart - H2H Living, discussing warning signs of an abusive relationship. The article includes a comprehensive list of relationship red flags.
- eBook: Stalking - A Practical Guide for Victims of a Stalker, by Central West Womens' Health Centre Inc.
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